This Isn't A Practical Post

Sit down kids, I'm going to tell you all a little story . . .

So there's this episode of Xena: Warrior Princess where Xena and Gabrielle walk into the ancient Greek bar that's full of thugs. Gabby walks in first with Xena following and Gabby is talking nonstop, completely in her own world, ordering a drink before she walks over to an empty table. Unbeknownst to her, all the thugs have decided that these two ladies might be fun to pick on, so they start coming one by one. Xena nonchalantly knocks them out, smashes heads and even blows fire before sitting down with Gabby. Xena even kicks one of the thugs over her shoulder. With her leg. Backwards. It's pretty sweet. And throughout all this chaos, Gabby has no idea what danger she might have been if Xena hadn't been there with her. 

I am Gabby. 

Absolutely adorable, ammirite? 

I've always been a Gabby-like-character (early season Gabby, early season Willow Rosenberg. . . maybe I'm just still in my early season? When do I get my costume change?)

 . The innocent one among my friends. Usually it's not a bad thing, I don't mind at all! That's who I am and I like me. I'd rather be thinking about the good in humanity and I'm always at home so I'm never in danger of reality. Or if I do go out it's with a parent to act like my Xena (With less flexibility).  

But lately I've been starting to wish that I had the skills/knowledge/confidence/whatever to be able to go out by myself and not feel like I'm going to be completely clueless about what's going on around me. But I don't even KNOW what it is that I need to work on to gain the confidence for myself and my family to let me out into the world. Do I need to learn some sort of physical self defense? How to talk to strangers? Spot a thief? Spot a new friend? What? I don't know! What skills do I need? How do I learn them? Do I need to find some badass warrior princess to adopt me and teach me her ways? Do I need to finish watching Xena? (Yes. The answer to that is Yes.) 

 ?????!??? 

I can't stop watching him shrug. . .

(side note: I don't actually know how to drive to go anywhere on my own. I'm still at the stage of thinking about the less practical sides of adulthood. This isn't a practical post.) 

I'm not even sure what it is I want to go out and do. Go to concerts? Go dancing? Go to a movie? Go sit in a cafe? (I need a new digestive tract if I want to do that.) It's probably hard to figure out the answer my questions since I don't have a particular goal, besides just having some sort of freedom in self-confidence. I'm not looking to move out or anything, I am very happy with where I am, exploring the country and seeing all these amazing places with my family. I just think that sometimes it might feel nice to be able to go explore something on my own and not feel like I need a bodyguard constantly. 

Maybe I'm being too romantic about it all, I'm probably not going to sit in a cafe and meet a super cool hippie person and we have a great conversation and then become great friends. But does it really hurt to be that hopeful with humanity? I just want to get out there and make some people smile and spread good karma but do it in a safe, smart way so I'm not on the receiving end of someone's bad karma. Because as much I believe that spreading love means you'll receive love I don't want to be caught unawares when it doesn't work that way.  

I thought that maybe if I spent some time writing out my thoughts and sharing them that either I'd come up with an idea myself  or someone else might have some advice. Does anyone have any good advice on where to start with anything I've talked about? How do I become a kind, gentle, dorky warrior princess? (I stretch every night, I'm going to perfect that backwards-over-the-shoulder-kick, I swear.)